Prisoner of Trebekistan

"So one night, in Santa Monica, I stood on a hundred-foot bluff overlooking the Pacific and vowed that someday I would meet a girl and propose to her on that very spot. I even made a mental note of the location, so that I could be sure of finding it again...A few year later I actually did stand on that exact spot with a girl I was madly in love with. Her name was Tonya, and I asked her to marry me. Not only did she say yes, we even went ahead and said the vows right there, the sea as our only witness, promising forevers, tears filling our eyes."

This is a short quote from Prisoner of Trebekistan. It is a book about a guy who was on Jeopardy! and the reason I am reading it is for class. Bob Harris, who wrote his autobiography, sold his book rights to a production company and the guy who is screenwriting it is coming in on Friday to talk about it. I have several reasons for quoting it. First one is the obvious connection to LA (For those of you who don't know, Santa Monica is part of LA County).

The other is because as I was reading this, it really hit home. I like taking walks to clear my head and relax. Every place I have lived in has a certain place that I would go to clear my head and look out on some beautiful part of the world. In Decatur it was this gorge of a trail at Rock Springs. It had a specific name, but it escapes me right now. It was the longest trail at the park and when you got all the way out, as far as you could from the beginning of the park, you would climb up this hill. Once at the top you would look down through this one gap in the trees and it would reveal this beautiful little piece of nature below you. When I would go for runs out here, I would always stop and stare for as long as I possibly could.

In Chicago, it was this point out by the Planetarium. My friend Ben and I used to rollerblade out there at night. A few night I went out there by myself and would litterally sit out there all night until the sun would rise. It was this perfect combination of city and space. I will never forget the beauty that a picture could not even begin to capture.

In LA it is the canyon behind my house. I have posted about it in other blog entries but I couldn't stop thinking about this place as well as the other two, as I read this chapter. I don't know how many times I have been standing, staring out of the edge of this canyon, looking out on the city and ocean beyond me and thinking that someday I want to share this exact image with the one person who means more to me then anything else. I want be looking out at this beautiful place and just as I'm thinking there is nothing more beautiful then the picture before me, I want to look over and see the one person who could make the rest of my picture complete. How could you not think that when you are standing there? How could you not have a quick flash of your future life? A future you that is happy and has found that one thing everyone is looking for.

There is one problem with this thought and that is that eventually you have to leave this place and it all instantly withdrawn into the back of your mind. Then I remember that I don't belive in monogamy, that it doesn't work. I remember the shit I've been through and how hard and high of a wall I have built around myself. I remember that the only person who can truely make me happy and complete is me, that I don't want to be that person who depends on another person. My heart and mind are so torn because I want to be this romantic person that I am in my head, but I'm not sure if I can be that person in the real world. I've tried and it has always back fired. It's just not me.

Before going on to talk about my weekend, I must first finish Bob's story..."About a year after that she started sleeping with her boss, although she didn't tell me for a while. Not until Christmas Eve, in fact, which she apparently thought was a good time to tell me. We stayed up all night, breaking up, and she left Chirstmas morning...I never saw her again. The spot we were standing on later collapsed in a mudslide, plummeting over the cliff for good." Sorry to be a downer but I thought you should here the end of the story. No, I did not come up with that myself but it is the reason I don't believe in monogamy. I don't want to be Bob, or worse Tonya. Odds are not in my favor. As Bob says in the next paragraph "I've been a little twitchy about commitment ever since."

Let's get a little happier shall we?

So let's run back to Saturday! After cleaning up after the party, we drove around LA to do a little exploring. Pulled up next to Hugh Grant. We walked around Rodeo Drive. It was weird. Leah knew all the designers and stores...I knew none of them. She made me go into Tiffany. I'm not dumb, I know you don't take a woman into Tiffany. She of course walked right over to the engagement rings. Good thing Dee was there. I know you get a woman good classy expensive jewlrey, but gosh darn it...I don't want to go into until I have a woman I want to buy something for and until then I will avoid it like the plague.

In Beverly Hills they have diagonal crossing at the intersections. It was weird:


And they had a British Soldier.

I have no clue who that girl is, she just walked into my picture.

On Sunday, I had to work at Borders. It was actually fun. It was the first time I was in the cafe with other people. Apparently I am in the "Lesbian Cafe" where everyone that works in SBC is one. Weird. I have forgotten how much you get hit on in the cafe. I know my baristas always told me but it never really sinks in until it is happening to you. It's something about how people feel comfortable hitting on you because you are trapped behind a counter and can't go anywhere. You know they are seriously hitting on you when they make sure you see them giving you a big tip. If they are just being nice they just drop it in the tip jar and continue on their way. If they wait until you are looking and then wink or smile when they put it in, and don't break eye contact, they are hitting on you.

Best conversation of the weekend:
Dani: What are you a Pisces?
I nod.
Dani: I knew it. They always are the most emotional people you will ever meet but yet they act like they are the toughest.
I roll my eyes.
Dani: Why are you being so difficult?
I think about it for a moment.
Me: Because I'm a woman.
Dani rolls her eyes and as she walks away and mutters under her breath.
Dani: I can't argue with that.