Hilary Wants To Go To BED

Just in case you guys missed it on Facebook...I'm very pissed at Quintin right now...

Little Miss Bad Blogger

Really, I am a bad blogger...it has been like a week. Unfortunately I don't feel like that much has happened to me and the things that have happened this week have all bee a blur. However I will try my best...

I don't remember Monday really. I had class, that's about all I remember. Seriously. Quintin left a banana lying on the floor of our room leading to this conversation:

Me-The room better not smell like bananas.
Q-It might smells like farts, sorry.

Tuesday was a bit more exciting as I had class and then work. Nothing exciting happened at either one of those but hey, what can you do. My roommates and I started feeling sick so I asked Amanda for medical advice. This was me trying to explain Amanda's advice to Leah:

"If it comes out clear, we just have to wait it out. If it comes out colored, we are in trouble."

Wednesday was only exciting because Brett K and I met up and worked out an entire season of our TV show. We put it all up on the board, it was pretty cool.


SHELF LIFE!!!

My description of what was going on in one episode: "she's fucking going nuts because she knows this chick is coming"

On the way home from my meeting I got stuck behind the Entourage van that was heading to a bar next to my house where the show was shooting that day.


Max got more excited then I did.

After that Leah and I decided to go for our almost daily walk through the canyon. This time we decided to go exploring and somehow ended up at the top of the canyon without a really way to get down. Then we has to like slide down a stinking mountain until we found a real path, which basically went straight down. So then we had to sprint down a mountain. It was nuts. I was very sore. I'm sure we will do it again soon.

"sometimes you have to go deeper in, to go out....that's what she said"

Thursday was fun because we did not have class until 1 pm. I got up and had brunch with Anne, Ashley's friend who was in town for the week, at this little place called The Griddle. It was pretty good. By the time I got home, our power had been shut off because our landlord did not pay the bill. Classic. Seriously.

Between class and our next event a group of us went to this Thai place called the...


At which Quintin confessed to me that "When I first met you, I thought you were a whore because you said that you were going to go to Hollywood and sleep your way to the top. A year later, I am sleeping in your bed."

That night we went to the Writers Guild to meet with the screenwriters of LOST. It was interesting, even though I don't watch the show. Dan decided to reserve something for me:


...and I bought white aviators to go with my white belt...

...then I found out where the drains lead...


Friday was boring in class for the most part. Brett K and I had a cute conversation when we were supposed to be learning:

B: Most people have hearts.
Me: I don't.
B: I know, but someday you will get one.
Me: From the Wizard of Oz?
B: I was thinking from some hot woman, but it could be a wizard.
Me: How about a wizardess?

Friday night a whole group of us went out. Meghan ripped my $5 :(



But at the bar this guy was hitting on her and I told him that I was her pimp and that in order to talk to her, he had to pay me. The guy pulled out a dollar and gave it to me. Classic. The bar was lame though.

Saturday was fun because we went up to Malibu to go to the beach. We played soccer on the beach and swam in the freezing ocean. Then we were walking up the beach and saw a WHALE!!!! Then wall we were watching the whale, several dolphins began swimming around the whale. It was like animal planet in person. I kept thinking to myself over and over again "I can't believe I live here."

I saw Max's cousin on the way home from the beach.


Not a whole lot of family resemblance. Max must have been adopted.

I got two nicknames this week. One from Meghan and one from Nick.
Meghan: Hilary lady killer Helding, If i was to make a TV series about you, that's what the name would be, Lady Killer.
Nick: I'm going to nickname you the female fister.

Now I am off to go find a job/internship for next week...oh boy...I will keep you all updated on that.

Lesson of the day "Be nice to gay people"

My phone camera was full so I missed out on some really great pictures. I am very sad about that.

Saturday was kind of a blur. In fact I do not remember at all what I did. I remember that I got up at noon, ran a few errands and then went to Meghan's for a little bit. I'm helping her out on her script for this really cute romantic comedy. Think Wedding Crashers for women and actually funny. After that I hung out at home with the kids. I got invited out a few places but I got a text that put me in a weird mood so it was go out, get drunk and do something I would regret or go to bed. I opted for going to bed. Welcome to Hollywood.

Quintin: Shut your trap woman. I don't like all your talkin' and such.

Sunday was a boring work day. Not much happened, just the typical making coffee and cleaning up after stupid people. Although I must say that being on the floor and having no responsibilities is very nice. Someone complains and I just call someone else, not my problem. Person shits themselves on our chair, not my problem. Person passed out in the bathroom, not my problem. Crack whore selling herself to children, not my problem.

I was so tired when I got home that I put hand soap on my tooth brush. No joke. I had to wash it like five times to get the green apple soap taste out. Gross.

This awesome apartment building by the studio. haha.



Today, Monday, we had a guest speaker who's main message seemed to be "be nice to gay people" mainly because they are a group you don't want to piss off. I really hope I don't piss them off. I am now working on an hour long dramedy with Brett K, not to be confused with my gay lover Brett. I am very excited for it. Then I went to BK and got a gosh darn veggie burger. They are so tasty I am addicted.

Me: BK is tastey as hell.
Leah: You're tastey as hell.
Me: I know, that's what I'm told.
Quintin: Leah, don't feed her ego.

I'm feeling a little confused about everything going on around me. Mainly job hunting, apartment hunting and woman hunting. I have a lot to do but life is a challenge and I am up for it. (just kidding about the last one, haha)

This was the cutest thing I have seen in a long time...


On a none related note:
Meghan: ...My vibrator sounds like more fun...
(no she was not talking about me)

Britney Spears is an aphrodisiac

It has been quite the busy week to say the least. I fear that life is only about to get busier.

Monday we went and saw the Hollywood sign. This is this secret back way to get really close that they don't tell tourists about so it was really fun.


No Trespassing! Whoops!

We climbed all the way up here. It was intense.

This was the weed tree we found. Very nice.

Tuesday we got a really cool chance to go see a special screening of Maiden Heist, the new Walken/Freeman/Macy film. It was pretty funny. The coolest part of it though, was that it was in CAA, the largest talent agency in the country and probably world. I felt pretty cool. Afterward we all went out for drinks. Since there was a large group of us, they got us upgraded and drink deals. The margaritas were gross...

The boys pretending to be hotshot producers.

Meghan blowing our cover by forgetting to act classy.

The outdoor lounge with comfy couches.

We found a giant A in the parking lot. This picture is for Ashley.

The reason boys should not play with fire.

Dee's car got trampled by a kitty with dirty paws.

A random cut out in some car. Very nice.

Wednesday we had an awesome speaker. I got a Hollywood shot glass from him.


Leah got a giant pencil and Dee got a blow up ball of the world. I think I got the best deal here.

I stayed up all night Wednesday finish up a film treatment. It turned out pretty well. It was for my superhero script. I am very eager to get feedback on it.

Thursday was Leah's 21st Birthday! We went to this place called the Avalon for Tigerheat night. It is this really old theater they converted into a night club. It is my favorite bar, even if it has over priced drinks. The dance floor was huge and totally packed. Picture your favorite dance club seen in a movie and that was it. The dance clubs/bars in Chicago were not nearly as large or as packed. Plus, to make it even better, it was BRITNEY SPEARS night! There was this drag Britney that performed a few songs. It was awesome.

Some dancers.

$8 shots. No joke.


Meghan attempting to keep up with me...but I'm quite the pro at this point.

The floor was turning into a giant mess of sweaty bodies touching each other in completely inappropriate ways...proving that Britney Spears is in fact an aphrodisiac.

So we decided to leave Avalon when they stopped serving alcohol. It was a mile walk home but seemed to take twice as long. However we got to see the Magic Castle lit up, which is right by our house.



For those of you who do not know, this has nothing to do with Disney. It is actually a club for magicians and you can only get in by invite only. It is really cool.

Friday night we went to this really cool writer's house. Got to meet a few cool people and hear some great stories.
His cat had a stash like Hitler's...

...and has jumped off his 9th floor balcony TWICE and survived both times. Seriously. It is not the brightest of nicest cat, but at this point would expect it to be?

Randoms:
Dee's Piggy bank that she keeps in her car.

The shark by our house.


Chelsea:I know exactly how you are. The harder the exterior, the softer the interior.
Me:Don't talk about my interior baby.

"Shituation"

"Shituation" n.: a bad situation, 2.: a dramatic, usually negative happening resulting in utter shit in one's life.

It's 9:59, when I started at least. It has been a long day so I am sitting here exhausted. I worked at Borders, spent way too much money at The GAP, and then came home to not do my homework. I took a long shower hoping to wash the stink of Borders off of me and it was harder then I thought. I'm already tired of it and I have only worked there a handful of days. I should be doing homework right now, I tried. I really did. But the blank screen kept getting brighter and brighter until eventually I had to stop. It's not hard homework, but I still can't do it yet. Most likely I will go to bed and get up astoundingly early to finish. Hopefully by the time you read this, I will be done.

Let's rewind a bit. Friday I went to the beach after class with some friends. It was a bit chilly but it made me happy. Made me miss all my old friends in Chicago. (I thought of you guys!) I put my feet in the water and let the ocean wash over my toes over and over. I decided I like the beach, even if sand is annoying.

My new beach friend.


Leah trying to act like a ganster. Meghan is not sure what to think.

After the beach some of us hung out at our place. Our apartment is becoming quite the party pad. Highlight of my Friday was when Rudy told me that I would be running Paramount soon. It was a joke but it made me very happy.

I don't even remember Saturday, but I did see strippers on my way home from work.

Okay, so today was not too bad at Borders. LL Cool J came in. Dani and I cause trouble again. We sang this chick Happy Birthday, it made her day. We will always be remembered as those girls from Borders who sang to her on her 21st birthday. haha. Better then that, we had this one lady who Dani rang up. She told Dani that she reminded her of Shane from The L Word. I think it made Dani's day. I was laughing so hard I literally fell onto the floor behind the counter. By the time I pulled myself together to make her drink, I misheard the drink and made the customer the wrong one. Luckily for her, I messed it up giving her a better, more expensive drink. I told the customer I messed up and was going to make her the right one. She told me she would take the upgrade and then told me she wanted to kiss me. Luckily there was a two foot counter between us so I dodged that one. Dani and I were quite the team, look for our reality TV show airing in 2010...that's all I'm saying about that.

Our tip jar. It's kind of cute.

Leah, Dee and I decided to go to The GAP to take advantage of the discount Brett offered to us. We stocked up on nice clothing for our hopefully future agency jobs. Looking forward to being someone's bitch in $60 pants. Nothing says I can make great coffee and answer the shit out of your phone like GAP pants and a cardigan. PS. Loving the hell out of Brett right now.

"You act all tough but you're really just a warm bowl of mush." - Dani (She has more random shit coming out of her mouth then I do. Hard to believe huh?)

Prisoner of Trebekistan

"So one night, in Santa Monica, I stood on a hundred-foot bluff overlooking the Pacific and vowed that someday I would meet a girl and propose to her on that very spot. I even made a mental note of the location, so that I could be sure of finding it again...A few year later I actually did stand on that exact spot with a girl I was madly in love with. Her name was Tonya, and I asked her to marry me. Not only did she say yes, we even went ahead and said the vows right there, the sea as our only witness, promising forevers, tears filling our eyes."

This is a short quote from Prisoner of Trebekistan. It is a book about a guy who was on Jeopardy! and the reason I am reading it is for class. Bob Harris, who wrote his autobiography, sold his book rights to a production company and the guy who is screenwriting it is coming in on Friday to talk about it. I have several reasons for quoting it. First one is the obvious connection to LA (For those of you who don't know, Santa Monica is part of LA County).

The other is because as I was reading this, it really hit home. I like taking walks to clear my head and relax. Every place I have lived in has a certain place that I would go to clear my head and look out on some beautiful part of the world. In Decatur it was this gorge of a trail at Rock Springs. It had a specific name, but it escapes me right now. It was the longest trail at the park and when you got all the way out, as far as you could from the beginning of the park, you would climb up this hill. Once at the top you would look down through this one gap in the trees and it would reveal this beautiful little piece of nature below you. When I would go for runs out here, I would always stop and stare for as long as I possibly could.

In Chicago, it was this point out by the Planetarium. My friend Ben and I used to rollerblade out there at night. A few night I went out there by myself and would litterally sit out there all night until the sun would rise. It was this perfect combination of city and space. I will never forget the beauty that a picture could not even begin to capture.

In LA it is the canyon behind my house. I have posted about it in other blog entries but I couldn't stop thinking about this place as well as the other two, as I read this chapter. I don't know how many times I have been standing, staring out of the edge of this canyon, looking out on the city and ocean beyond me and thinking that someday I want to share this exact image with the one person who means more to me then anything else. I want be looking out at this beautiful place and just as I'm thinking there is nothing more beautiful then the picture before me, I want to look over and see the one person who could make the rest of my picture complete. How could you not think that when you are standing there? How could you not have a quick flash of your future life? A future you that is happy and has found that one thing everyone is looking for.

There is one problem with this thought and that is that eventually you have to leave this place and it all instantly withdrawn into the back of your mind. Then I remember that I don't belive in monogamy, that it doesn't work. I remember the shit I've been through and how hard and high of a wall I have built around myself. I remember that the only person who can truely make me happy and complete is me, that I don't want to be that person who depends on another person. My heart and mind are so torn because I want to be this romantic person that I am in my head, but I'm not sure if I can be that person in the real world. I've tried and it has always back fired. It's just not me.

Before going on to talk about my weekend, I must first finish Bob's story..."About a year after that she started sleeping with her boss, although she didn't tell me for a while. Not until Christmas Eve, in fact, which she apparently thought was a good time to tell me. We stayed up all night, breaking up, and she left Chirstmas morning...I never saw her again. The spot we were standing on later collapsed in a mudslide, plummeting over the cliff for good." Sorry to be a downer but I thought you should here the end of the story. No, I did not come up with that myself but it is the reason I don't believe in monogamy. I don't want to be Bob, or worse Tonya. Odds are not in my favor. As Bob says in the next paragraph "I've been a little twitchy about commitment ever since."

Let's get a little happier shall we?

So let's run back to Saturday! After cleaning up after the party, we drove around LA to do a little exploring. Pulled up next to Hugh Grant. We walked around Rodeo Drive. It was weird. Leah knew all the designers and stores...I knew none of them. She made me go into Tiffany. I'm not dumb, I know you don't take a woman into Tiffany. She of course walked right over to the engagement rings. Good thing Dee was there. I know you get a woman good classy expensive jewlrey, but gosh darn it...I don't want to go into until I have a woman I want to buy something for and until then I will avoid it like the plague.

In Beverly Hills they have diagonal crossing at the intersections. It was weird:


And they had a British Soldier.

I have no clue who that girl is, she just walked into my picture.

On Sunday, I had to work at Borders. It was actually fun. It was the first time I was in the cafe with other people. Apparently I am in the "Lesbian Cafe" where everyone that works in SBC is one. Weird. I have forgotten how much you get hit on in the cafe. I know my baristas always told me but it never really sinks in until it is happening to you. It's something about how people feel comfortable hitting on you because you are trapped behind a counter and can't go anywhere. You know they are seriously hitting on you when they make sure you see them giving you a big tip. If they are just being nice they just drop it in the tip jar and continue on their way. If they wait until you are looking and then wink or smile when they put it in, and don't break eye contact, they are hitting on you.

Best conversation of the weekend:
Dani: What are you a Pisces?
I nod.
Dani: I knew it. They always are the most emotional people you will ever meet but yet they act like they are the toughest.
I roll my eyes.
Dani: Why are you being so difficult?
I think about it for a moment.
Me: Because I'm a woman.
Dani rolls her eyes and as she walks away and mutters under her breath.
Dani: I can't argue with that.

The Party and "The Club"

Rules to throwing a good party:
1. Clear out your fridge. People need room to put their cases of beer. Do it ahead of time to prevent people going through your stuff and squishing your eggs/produce.
2. Invite more girls then boys. Seriously. When a boy says he is coming...he is coming. If he isn't sure if he will come he will straight up tell you. Women will say they are coming and then won't. Half the women you invite that say they are coming won't show up. 99.9% of the men who say they are coming will show up. Fact.
3. Pre-plan out party music. Pull some tracks onto your iPod and have it going in the background.
4. DO NOT put the TV on. Watching TV/movies is not a social activity. It's just not.
5. Do not use real glasses. Invest in disposable cups it makes clean up easier and nothing gets broken.
6. Put away towels you actually use. Having your clean bath towel in the bathroom means it will not be clean anymore.
7. At the party, relax. Don't run around cleaning up or being controlling. Make your rounds. Introduce yourself to everyone and thank them for coming.
8. When you are ready for it to be over, tell everyone to get out. It is not rude to say that you want to go to bed. Everyone understands. If you don't tell them, drunk people will stay as long as they can because they are DRUNK and don't deal well with time.
9. Clean up in the morning. You just threw a party, you deserve to go to bed. The mess will not get worse over night. Yes it's gross. Yes there are random bottles in the oddest places, but it will all be okay in the morning.
10. Actually clean up in the morning. Sticky beer residue on the coffee table is not cool a week later.

So how did my party go? It was pretty amazing. I have a serious love for hosting parties and I had forgotten as I have not thrown a party since July when I moved out of my place on Halsted. When I lived with Jesse and Axel we through huge parties all the time as well. I miss it. Most people don't like hosting but I do. We probably had about 40 people here at the height of the event. It was one of my favorite nights in LA so far. I had way too much to drink, but what else is new. I will not post photos as it is likely that there will be too many bad ones up on Facebook.

My phone decided to act up. Everytime I looked down at the phone it said I had a voicemail even though my phone didn't ring or some message had just been sent. Appartenly if you send a text message with nothing in it, it is called a page and my phone kept sending them out. It was weird. I'm taking it to get fixed.

Leah and I have have this joke because whenever people have asked us if we are single we both go "uhhhh...well....ummmmm" Then last night as we were talking with some people that came over from our SLA program, we realized that a lot of people are like that. People that moved here and left someone they still really care about all the way back in Chicago. We called it "The Club" and it became the joke of the night. Funny thing is that for the first time since I have been out here I was sure my answer to that question was a solid yes. I guess I'm really not a member of that club anymore. There were like 6 of us that were sitting around telling stories about people we left back in Chicago and how we said goodbye. Then we all mutually decided that the best way to solve our "problem" was to go out and meet someone else. Stupid huh? I think this decision was partly because we were sitting at this fun party thinking about people who weren't here and partly because we were drunk.

There has been this kid in my SLA program who has been sitting next to me for a week. I was kind of thinking he was gay but was not 100% sure. Turns out he is!!! I am very excited to have a gay man in my LA life. It's like I'm finally starting to really settle in now. I know it's a stupid thing to feel like you need but I need to be around people like me. I just do. I have a part time thing at Borders, I am working on film stuff, I am writing, I am being creative, I am getting comfortable driving, I have an LA husband, I am making friends, I am learning the city, and I am being social. This is becoming my home and it feels right.

I feel a lot like I did back in June when I was coming out of my shell again and transitioning into this new confident person that I was probably all the way up until January. Then I had a recession. This week was kind of like a reset button for me. It's like I am getting yet another chance to start over. Which is refreshing but weird at the same time, mainly because if I have to do it over then that means I had to have done something majorly wrong. Makes me think a lot about which mistake was the big one and which things I think were mistakes but really weren't.

"It's weird. As soon as I saw you, I needed to talk."

Always Playing Catch Up

I have been crazy busy the last few days. Tuesday at the studio was super fun. We are meeting lots of producers who have worked on movies such as Spider-man, Tomb Raider, The Island, White Chicks and one who was working on the remake of Logan's Run. It has been cool to talk and learn from these people. That night Dee, Leah and I went shopping. And the most important thing that happened to me this week happened...I bought a white belt.

haha. Okay, so it was not the most important part of my week but I have wanted a white belt for a while now and I must say it looks killer on me. Which I proved later when I got drunk and decided I missed my old self. AKA Hilary is an idiotic asshole.

When we were walking back the door on this Gentleman's club was pretty cool.


Wednesday was much of the same. Went to the studio during the day and then I went to work at the grand ole' Borders SBC. Got yelled at by some rich stupid girl who I wanted to hit in the face. I was like seriously....you aren't very smart, not even close to cute and I do not care who you are. Back away from my cafe before you get hit in the face.

Thursday was...meh. I went to school and it was very inciteful. After Leah and I went for a walk up the canyon. It was nice because I do not know a whole lot about her and it gave me a better chance to learn where she comes from and who she is. She is very cool lady.

Apparently Columbia has been trying to get name actors to come work on their practicum films, a program for which my script was chosen. I guess the producers of my script got it to Natalie Portman. She must have decline which makes since, especially since I know what damage they have done to it in rewrites. Columbia Pracitcum Producers are known for screwing up good scripts and then when the final film sucks they can't figure out why. I knew it would happen when I signed the script over to them. Both Chris (my writer) and I knew it would happen, but at that point we really didn't care. It is cool to know that she read it though.

You know you are in the modern age when you can completly have a fight over text message. No joke. I did figure out that I'm not ready to be the person I thought I was going to be yet. One step forward, five back. I'm the biggest idiot ever...but I don't know what more I can do?

I'm Back.

Okay so as I said earlier I took a few days off to celebrate my birthday, move my roommates in, start Borders and start school. Let me break down what you missed:

Thursday was awesome. I had a great birthday (thanks everyone for all your warm wishes) and I spent it at Disneyland! Dee and I went there and basically went on every ride possible. I got to hang out with my new favorite red head Arial.


And Dee made out with a frog.

I had to enter all the rides first. :(


After Disneyland I want home and found cupcakes at my door...


They were from my old favorite red head.

But they were super tastey and I have been eating them for every meal. I only have like two left.


This one had filling.

Then Dee and I went out to a pub called the Red Lion where we met up with some old friends from Chicago. It was great to see familiar faces and meet some new ones. I met this guy named Shadie from England who was producing the new Kanye West video. Apparently Kanye's entourage cost so much they had to cut back on the size of the film crew.

On Friday Quintin and Leah came into LA. I no longer have a room to myself :(. I haven't introduced you to Quintin yet so here he is:


He didn't really want me to take his picture but I always get my way.
That night we had a large group of people over. My dear friends Jake and Chris were two of the people that came over and I forgot how much I love them. They just make me laugh nonstop and flatter me constantly which I love.

Saturday we did all kinds of rearranging the apartment and running errands. We bought 99 cent wine from the 99 cent store.

It was not very good and Nora would be ashamed of me.

Oh and here is this Burberry watch...

...I didn't get you. To go with my Prada sweater that isn't really mine.
But I wore my new favorite shoes so it was a good day.


Sunday I worked at Borders from 12-8 making coffee for the fine people of Los Angeles. It was lame but I need some kind of income. When I got home all my roomies were there. We had Champaign to celebrate our semester starting. Best part is that we drank it from very fancy glasses:

No joke. They came with the apartment.

Today aka Monday, we had our first day at Raleigh's. It seems like it will be a lot of work but totally worth it. I am very excited. Big things to come!

Oh. I was on the set of The Closer today. It was pretty cool.